THE DAILY GROANER - December 3, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

I had the weirdest dream last night. I had to hide for some bad dudes that were out to get me so I had to go on the run and change my identity to survive.

I moved to the Pacific Northwest and started my own tree removal business under my new name - Tim Burr. But after the television ad I made for my new business aired, I know rookie mistake, the bad guys found me and I had to run again.

Next, I found myself in Michigan running a sporting good store as a Frenchman named - Jacques Strap. Again, I made a TV promo for the place and, "sacré bleu", I hit the road once more.

Finally, I made a change that worked in my favor. I started wearing a red and white striped shirt, a matching hat, blue pants, and black-rimmed glassed, while walking with a cane. I also called myself Waldo. It must have worked because no one ever find out where I was. Weird, right?

I guess that's what I get for eating chili right before bedtime.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Anything For $50 --*
A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, "I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks."

He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones.

He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do rich cats have in their refrigerators?

A: Automatic mice makers.


Q: How do you call an Eskimo cow?

A: An Eskimoo!


*-- Reader Comments --*
Steve, You moved without telling me. I sent out your birthday present two weeks ago and it came back today with a notice: That cell is now vacant. Happy Birthday, Max
[Oh, I forgot to get it out there that I'm society's problem once again. Thanks for the warm birthday wishes.]

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