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THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, September 8th 2010

Good Morning Groanies,

Whenever I go out for dinner, there's something that always
bothers me. You know at the point of the meal when the
waiter or waitress asks you, "How is everything?", or "How
does everything taste?" or "Are you enjoying your meal?"

They are conditioned to expect to hear the positive. That's
just wrong. You have to expect the unexpected. I always
want to say, calmly, how horrible the food is and that I
can still see the marks where the jockey was hittin' it.

I just want to see their faces. I want to see how they
react. And once that happens I will inform them that what
I did was in accordance to a psychology experiment helping
me to attain a degree at the whatever school that pops in
to my head. Just a safety net so they won't spit in my
dessert.

I know that you are looking forward to going out for dinner
to try this harmless little goof. It'll treat you good.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com

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This guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun
if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he
wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he
finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white
box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good location for the
box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet
to the bar to have a drink.

So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to
go to Frank's with me and have a beer?"

But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered
him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him
again, "How about going to the bar and having a drink with
me?

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and
pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the
situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time
putting his face up against the centipede's house and
shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's
place and have a drink with me?"

A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first
time! I'm putting on my shoes!"

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Q: What did the leftover turkey say after it was wrapped up?

A: Foiled again!


Q: What do you get if you don't clean your mirror?

A: A dirty look.

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