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August 17, 2010
CURRENT FASHIONS OFFER WOMEN LITTLE THAT'S DECENT TO WEAR
DEAR ABBY: I am writing about the letter from "Can't Believe
My Eyes" (June 20), who is bothered by the amount of cleavage
women display everywhere. I have heard many negative comments
in the workplace regarding women's tasteless attire. But
most of the remarks I hear come from other women in stores
while we try to shop for clothes. They are shocked at how
little there is to buy that is "decent" to wear. They, as
well as I, are tired of having to buy tank tops to wear under
shirts or dresses that are cut too low or are too short.
I have three daughters who dress for professional jobs. They,
too, express similar frustration at finding clothing that is
appropriate to wear. I am sure some women like plunging,
skin-tight clothing, but from what I hear the majority do
not. Store clerks get complaints and have passed them on to
the buyers. But the buyers say there is not much else avail-
able.
-- FRUSTRATED SHOPPER IN WEST VIRGINIA
DEAR FRUSTRATED: I empathize with your frustration. The feed-
back from readers on this subject has been abundant, and many
agree with you. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: As the mother of a well-endowed 13-year-old daugh-
ter, I agree with "Can't Believe My Eyes." I hate shopping
for clothes with my daughter. It's not because she is diffi-
cult, but because the styles are so revealing. My daughter
wants to dress trendy while I want her to stay covered up.
I have the same problem when I shop for myself. We use tank
tops and hidden safety pins to keep "the girls" under wraps.
The problem is not lack of modesty of the wearer, but the
clothing designers and manufacturers. I can't wait until the
styles change, but for now we are doing our best to cover up.
-- OKLAHOMA READER
DEAR ABBY: Hooray for "Can't Believe's" comments on cleavage
at businesses and schools, but I'm more disturbed by the
number of women -- young and not so young -- who show way too
much in church. I'm a guy who appreciates God's handiwork,
but please, ladies, don't showcase it in the pews.
-- DISTRACTED IN ROME, N.Y.
DEAR ABBY: In your answer you stated there was also a lot
showing "south of the border." In Mexico? What about Louis-
iana? I'd like to go there!
-- BRUCE IN HAWAII
DEAR BRUCE: Oh, come on! I didn't mean that kind of geography.
DEAR ABBY: Why do people feel the need to dictate the stand-
ards of appearance for everyone else? If it doesn't harm you,
it's none of your business. If you don't like the employees
where you shop, go somewhere else.
I'm a 54-year-old guy who looks and dresses conservatively.
My dentist has spiky hair with purple streaks and looks
young enough to be in high school. My mechanic has a hole
in his earlobe you could shove a quarter through. My elec-
trician has tattoos on his face. But they all do great work,
and I wouldn't trade 'em. Why force everyone into one narrow
description of what's "acceptable"? I'm for ability over
appearance.
-- OPEN-MINDED IN PHOENIX
DEAR ABBY: I've been in banking for 30 years and have seen
many changes, especially after casual dress days started.
Many younger women in the office didn't understand what that
meant. Memos went out, but nothing changed until a female
division manager was brought in to address the problem. I'll
never forget what she said: "Look at yourself in the mirror
before you leave for work and ask yourself if you look like
you're going to 'get lucky.' If the answer is yes, then you
need to change your clothes." Abby, we never had a dress code
problem again.
-- RHONDA IN THE SOUTHWEST
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The
Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send
a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or
money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger
Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage
is included in the price.)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box
69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.