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March 12, 2010

CO-WORKER WANTS HER CAKE -- AND SOME FOR HER FAMILY, TOO

DEAR ABBY: I work in an office where folks sometimes bring
in birthday cakes, desserts and other goodies to share.
"Dolores" is always the first in line, and helps herself to
a large portion of the treats and says she's taking some
home for her family.

Last week, someone brought in an exotic dessert and I got
out the dessert-sized paper plates. Dolores took out two
regular-sized paper plates and cut off a quarter of the
entire dessert! No one could believe it, but we didn't know
what to say or do. One time, she actually cut a huge portion
of someone's birthday cake to take home before the "birthday
boy" even got a slice. This woman is not poor. What do you
recommend?
-- "DESSERTED" IN TENNESSEE

DEAR "DESSERTED": Your co-worker is behaving the way she is
because no one in your office has spoken up and objected.
The next time someone brings something to be shared by the
office staff and Dolores makes her usual move, the "bringer"
should tell her plainly that she's not to take more than a
portion for herself until everyone else has had some -- and
to ask permission beforehand if she wants to take any of the
remainder home.


DEAR ABBY: My son's birthday is coming soon. I want to invite
his Scout troop and some of his schoolmates. The problem is
"Matt." Matt is a horrible child who is in both Scouts and
school. I know he'll destroy the party, but how can I invite
everyone else and not him? His parents are lazy and overin-
dulgent and can't seem to make him understand that there are
rules of conduct.
-- PERPLEXED MOM IN THE WOODLANDS, TEXAS

DEAR PERPLEXED: Do not invite all but one child to your son's
party. If Matt acts up, take him aside and tell him exactly
what you expect from him while he is with you -- and that if
he can't behave appropriately he will be sent home. You may
be surprised to find that when he hears it from you -- rather
than from his ineffectual parents -- that he will listen and
comply.

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DEAR ABBY: When I take my children to the pediatrician, we
are usually there for one reason -- flu-like symptoms, stom-
achache, etc. Sometimes my child will happen to have another
ailment, like a sore ankle or a fever blister.

I don't feel comfortable bringing up additional issues with
our doctor because when I do, I get the "evil eye" from him
-- like he's only there to help with the one reason for our
visit.

Is it appropriate to talk to the doctor about several medical
problems in one visit, or only stick to the issue at hand?
-- IN A QUANDARY, KETTERING, OHIO

DEAR IN A QUANDARY: If you are asked by the person who takes
the appointment why you're bringing your child in, and you
reply that your child has flu-like symptoms or a stomachache,
the person will block you in for a certain amount of time
with the doctor. If, after your child has been examined,
you start talking about the sore ankle, the fever blister,
etc., what you're interpreting as the "evil eye" may be
stress because the necessary amount of time was not allot-
ted and the doctor will be behind schedule for the rest of
the day.

If, however, you feel the doctor is insensitive or not
meeting your child's needs, then you should change doctors.



Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two
booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite
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to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris,
IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby at
T="_new" class="abbylink">www.DearAbby.com
or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.