Thursday, June 28, 2012

Good morning crew,

I can tell summer is here (the first day with the 20th, in case you missed it). The calendar is already starting to fill up. There are only about 17 weekends in which to plan every single summer activity I might want to enjoy...and there are a lot of them!

I need to make my annual pilgrimage to the Renaissance Faire, I absolutely have to make it to the Taste of Chicago, people are already talking about organizing a trip up to Lake Geneva, I'd like to do a barbecue party at the Indiana Dunes (in college we used to do that as a rule), and for years I have been wanting to do a three or four-day weekend tour of the Michigan wine country. I think this would be a great year for it.

Of course, all of this has to revolve around the big Fourth of July weekend, not to mention a wedding in there somewhere. So it's going to be a busy summer.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could take a few of those dead weekends during the winter and drop them into the middle of summer to ease up the schedule a little bit?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"The flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, 'Oh, he's good. I like his work.'" --David Spade

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"Correspondence schools are full of it. I saw an ad where they claimed they could teach you veterinarian medicine thought the mail. Hate to be a dog in that house. "Mail's here!" "Yip, yip, yip!" Talk about being a regular in the pet store, "Hey, didn't I already sell you a puppy?" --Drew Carey

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"I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid." --P. J. O'Rourke

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It was just another day at the DMV. I had taken a woman out on her driving test when a police cruiser came up behind us--sirens wailing, lights flashing.

"Was I speeding?" she asked the officer, after both cars pulled over.

"No," said the officer. "But you are driving a stolen vehicle."

Smiling awkwardly, the woman turned to me. "Does this mean I failed my test?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom.

With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. "Just a minute," I said, thinking of a quick solution. "I'll put down newspapers."

"It's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already trained."