Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Good morning crew,

Welcome to April, folks, and payday for me. Not that I have been hurtin' for cash lately. Our tax refund arrived a couple weeks ago and the wife and I haven't exactly been frugal with our spending since.

That might not have been the best strategy, especially since we have a couple of big repairs coming up soon, but every now and then it's fun to blow a little cash like you just don't care.

Hopefully that logic will still make me feel good about myself when I have to come up with a small fortune to pay for four new tires and an alignment on the truck sometime in the next couple months.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Starbucks is discontinuing its 'Race Together' initiative where baristas were asked to discuss race relations with customers. Apparently, there aren't many combinations worse than 'racial discussions' and 'hot liquids.'" -Seth Meyers

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"Researchers at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model." --Jimmy Fallon

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"Google has received a patent for air bags and bumpers for the outside of a car to protect pedestrians. The material has a similar consistency to the memory foam they make beds and pillows out of. So in the future, getting run over is going to be a lot more comfortable." -Jimmy Kimmel

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An American scientist once visited the offices of the great Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Neils Bohr, in Copenhagen, and was amazed to find that over his desk a horseshoe was nailed to the wall.

The American said with a nervous laugh, "Surely you don't believe that horseshoe will bring you good luck, do you, Professor Bohr?"

Bohr chuckled. "I believe no such thing, my good friend. Not at all. I am scarcely likely to believe in such foolish nonsense. However, I am told that a horseshoe will bring you good luck whether you believe in it or not!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My friend asked his father-in-law, a crop duster, how his day had gone.

"I had just the worst day," replied the man. "This morning I was up in my plane dusting a field when I nicked a power line and damaged the wing on the plane. When I got back to the office, my boss chewed me out. Then the guy from the FAA chewed me out.

"On my way home, I stopped at a bar and was handed a warm beer. So I yelled at the bartender, 'Don't you have any cold beer?!'

"The bartender said, 'Sorry, but we've been out of electricity all day ever since some idiot crop-duster hit a power line down the road.'"