Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Good morning crew,

There was one rather unusual thing that happened at Zach's wedding last weekend. In fact, it was something I have never seen happen at any other wedding.

The father of the bride insulted the groom's mother during his dinner speech.

At first it was completely normal, the father of the bride got up and made a few comments; how he loved his daughter and even though he hated to see her go he knew this day was eventually going to come...boilerplate stuff.

But then he turned to Zach and said, "I can't believe you're stealing my little girl away from me, you son of a bitch!"

A small laugh rippled through the room, but I turned to my table and said, "Is it me, or did anybody else just hear the father of the bride call Zach's mom a bitch in front of 200 people?"

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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***
"A college student in Georgia was worried that his parents would be mad at him for flunking English. So he tried to fake his own kidnapping. The parents figured it out when the ransom note said, 'We has your sun.'" -Conan O'Brien

***
"There's a lot of talk about how global warming will be a disaster for future generations. When you think about it, it's hard to care. What have these future generations ever done for us?" -Jimmy Kimmel

***
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled. "I can't dear," she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

The little boy replied with a shaking voice, "The big sissy."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
I came home one night and my wife was crying.
I said, "what's wrong?"
She said, "I'm home sick."
I said, "But, this IS your home."
"I know," she replied, "and I'm sick of it!"