Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Good morning crew,

You learn things when you live with a person. When the wife came home last night I was watching TV. She sat down with me as I was flipping between "Always", a drama starring Richard Dreyfuss as a disembodied spirit who helps his former lover move on with her life, and "Kung Pow: Enter the Fist", a brilliant spoof of martial arts movies starring Steve Oedekerk and a CGI kung-fu cow.

As I flipped back-and-forth she turned and gave me a disbelieving look. "How can you go from a drama one minute to a slapstick the other?"

"Because I can appreciate the value of the entertainment without becoming emotionally involved," I answered.

"I hope you wouldn't become emotionally involved in a movie called 'Kung Pow.'"

"You just don't understand the range it takes to convincingly punch a computer-generated cow in the udders."

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new sleep study suggested that insomnia is linked to early death. Well that should help you doze off. If you weren't sleeping before, this should knock you right out." -Jay Leno

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"Clint Eastwood has won so many awards, it's easier to name the awards he hasn't won, The Soul Train Award ? I think that's about it." --Craig Ferguson

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"A new study found that running for two minutes is just as good for you as working out for 90 minutes. That doesn't sound like a study ? it sounds like something a chubby guy says after being on the treadmill for two minutes." -Jimmy Fallon

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When we finished a personality assessment at work, I asked my friend Dan if he would share the results with his wife.

"That would require me to go home and say, 'Hi, honey. I just paid someone $400 to tell me what's wrong with me,'" he said. "And based on that, considering we've been married 23 years, she'd hand me a bill for about $798,000."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man. We flirted casually through dinner, then grew restless as the dignitaries gave speeches. During one particularly long-winded lecture, my new friend drew a # sign on a cocktail napkin. Excited, I wrote down my phone number.

Looking startled for a moment, he flipped the napkin over and drew another # sign, this time adding an X to the upper-left-hand corner.