Monday, January 31, 2011
Good morning crew,
Welcome to a new week, folks. And payday for me, thank
goodness. I spent every last cent of disposable income
I had this weekend at the boat show.
Actually, I wasn't the boat show itself that was so ex-
pensive, it was the bloody marys and the crab claws at
Riva afterward. I didn't even have enough money for that
and had to ask the girlfriend to take help with the bill.
You have to be pretty confident in your relationship to
pull something like that off.
Of course, I had to promise to take her out on a really
big date this weekend, so it will all work out in the
end.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters
from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in
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"In Japan, they have developed a new green machine that
turns regular paper into toilet paper. Kind of like what
Wall Street did with the dollar." -Jay Leno
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"Don't think of me as a talk show host, think of me as a
good friend whose phone number none of you have."
-Jimmy Kimmel
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"A Chicago court ruled that Rahm Emanuel can't run for mayor
in Chicago. But according to Chicago law, Emanuel can still
purchase the position." -Conan O'Brien
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Scene: A conversation between two of my friends.
Friend #1: Are you visiting us tomorrow? Do you need
directions?
Friend #2: I'm all set. I have the address, a GPS, and a
GPS override.
Friend #1: What's a GPS override?
Friend #2: My wife.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised
by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel:
"An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is
under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from
an adequate cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found in
a 'compromising position.'"
"See, I have a problem with that passion business,"
responded the jury candidate. "During my first marriage,
I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All
I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot
him." She wasn't selected for the jury.
____________________________________________________________
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