Monday, May 2, 2016
Good morning crew,
It was a nice, boring weekend, but somehow we still managed to spend a small fortune. I blame it on the wife.
Saturday afternoon I asked her if she wanted to run out with me to do a bit of shopping, but she had a better plan. Rummaging through a wicker basket full of papers and receipts she keeps on the kitchen counter, she produced a coupon to our favorite sushi restaurant good for half-priced appetizers and suggested we have lunch before we shop.
I don't have to have my arm twisted too far to indulge in a little yellowtail jalapeno sashimi.
Five appetizers, for beers and two bottles of hot saki later, we no longer had enough cash to go grocery shopping.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.com
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"In Venezuela the president announced today that they are moving to a two-day workweek. And this news is incredible because not only does a two-day workweek sound amazing, but it makes for the perfect amount of office small talk. Like, day one: 'How was your weekend?' Day two: 'Any big plans for the weekend?'" -James Corden
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"A JetBlue pilot had to appear in court today after being caught flying into New York's Kennedy Airport while drunk. Apparently he kept turning on the cabin intercom to tell the passengers how much he loved them." -Seth Meyers
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"We have less than 100 days to go until the summer Olympics. It's less than 100 days until people at home in sweatpants eating potato chips are like, 'I could do that.'" -Jimmy Fallon
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I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's jeans at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. So I asked the owner if he had a pair. He shook his head.
"I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My sister didn't do as well on her driver's ed test as she'd hoped. It might have had something to do with how she completed this sentence: "When the ___ is dead, the car won't start."
She wrote: "Driver."