Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Good morning crew,

The girlfriend and I hooked up with ol' Mason at the boat show at Navy Pier this weekend. She wasn't all that eager to go, but I promised her bloody marys at Riva afterward.

There wasn't too much different this year. They did have a giant, 48-foot racer that was pretty impressive, but the line to get on was about 100 people long, so we decided to skip it.

We mostly looked at the 30 to 33-foot range by Beneteau, Catalina and Hunter. We also drooled for a while over Hunter's new (well, three years old by this time) 27-foot motor/sailer. Now that is only sixty thousand verses about one hundred and thirty thousand for the 31-foot Catalina, but all of those are just fantasy material anyway.

The real decision came down to Hunter's 15-foot daysailer or Hobie's 16-foot catamaran. These are between 8 and 14 thousand dollars.

I'm kidding, of course. At least one of us would need a house with a yard to keep the thing in. But just in case a miracle happens and I manage to buy a house this year, we skipped the oysters and vodka martinis after the boat show and I put that hundred bucks in an empty coffee can labeled 'boat'.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Health experts have named Mississippi the fattest state in the Union. The state bird of Mississippi? The fried chicken." -Jay Leno

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"You hate Canada? That's like saying I hate toast. It's not the kind of thing that inspires passion in either direction. If anything, you should love Canada. Who else could cripple America with their cheap prescription drugs and talented comedians? --Jon Stewart

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"You all know Albert Einstein? They now say he had as many as ten girlfriends. So I guess E equals more than mc squared. Think about it. That's ten names. Ten phone numbers. Ten birthdays. You?d have to be a genius!" --Dave Letterman

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My father and I belong to the religion of Sikhism. We both wear the traditional turban and often encounter strange comments and questions. Once, in a restaurant, a child stared with amazement at my father. She finally got the courage to ask, "Are you a genie?"

Her mother, caught off guard, turned red in the face and apologized for the remark. But my dad took no offense and decided to humor the child.

He replied, "Why, yes I am. I can grant you three wishes."

The child's mother blurted out, "Really?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
We all fail sometimes. But there's something about failing with style. Here are some of the best test paper blunders from the most clueless - and inventive - of students.

* Classical Studies *
Question: Name one of the early Romans' greatest achievements.
Answer: Learning to speak Latin

* Biology *
Question: What is a fibula?
Answer: A little lie

* Classical Studies *
Question: What were the circumstances of Julius Caesar's death?
Answer: Suspicious ones

* Biology *
Question: Give an example of a smoking-related disease
Answer: Early death

* Biology *
Question: What is a plasmid?
Answer: A high definition television

* Religious Studies *
Question: Christians only have one spouse, what is this called?
Answer: Monotony

* Physics *
Question: Name an environmental side effect of burning fossil fuels.
Answer: Fire

* Geography *
Question: What does the term "lava" mean?
Answer: A pre-pubescent caterpillar

* Geography *
Question: The race of people known as Malays come from which country?
Answer: Malaria

* Geography *
Question: Name one famous Greek landmark
Answer: The most famous Greek landmark is the Apocalypse

* History *
Question: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
Answer: At the bottom.