Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Good morning crew,

It's only Tuesday and it's already turning into a really long week. We have some days off coming up and I'm trying to get everything done ahead of time so I can enjoy my time off. Why does having fun have to be so much stress?

I haven't even hammered down New Year's Eve plans yet. I know...a lot of places are already going to be booked up, but my attitude has always been that if it weren't for the last minute nothing would ever get done.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"There's a new website that allows you to use Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, surf the web, and read all the news in one place. That one place is called 'work." -Conan O'Brien

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"Budweiser announced they are coming out with a beer that has caffeine in it. "I am so tired in the morning. I really don't get moving until I have my first cup of beer." --Jay Leno

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"The FDA says it will limit the amount of pain reliever found in Vicodin. Which explains my new substitute for Vicodin: two Vicodin." -Jimmy Fallon

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Arriving home from work as usual at 5:30 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.

By 7 p.m. things had not changed, so before a fight started in earnest I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just gotten home, and start all over again. My wife agreed.

I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile, announced, "Honey, I'm home!"

"And just where have you been?" she replied sharply. "It's after seven o'clock!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style musical instruments.

After looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, I picked up a shiny, one-stringed instrument I took to be a mouth harp.

I put it to my lips and, much to the amusement of other shoppers, twanged a few notes on it.

After watching from a distance, my wife came up and whispered in my ear, "I hate to tell you this, honey, but you're trying to play a cheese slicer."