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Friday, February 13, 2015

Good morning crew,

Holy cow! Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I probably should have started to think about something to do before five minutes ago.

Okay, I have 26 bucks. Let's see...

That's about six beers, four mixed drinks, two martinis or one meal. Damn! That's what I get for blowing all that cash on the wife's birthday last week.

I'm going to have to get creative. If I stop at the store after work I can pick up a bottle of California cabernet, a box of macaroni and cheese, a package of kielbasa and salad fixin's and prepare dinner at home.

Then we can rent a movie on cable. Brilliant.

Who says you can't be cheap and romantic?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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***

"I bet that Van Gogh guy cut off his ear by accident and made up that 'lost love' story so he wouldn't look stupid." --Andy Pierson

***

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

***

"I don't have any kids. Well, at least none that I know about. I'd like to have kids one day, though. I want to be called Mommy by somebody other than Spanish guys in the street." --Carol Leifer

***

I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which ten items would you like to buy?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

An elderly couple came back from a wedding one afternoon and were in a pretty romantic mood. While sitting on their loveseat, the elderly woman looked at her companion and said, "I remember when you used to kiss me every chance you had."

The old man feeling a bit obliged leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek.

Then she said, "I also remember when you used to hold my hand at every opportunity."

The old man again feeling obligated reached over and gently placed his arm around her shoulders.

The elderly woman then stated," I also remember when you used to nibble on my neck and send chills down my spine."

This time the old man started to get up off the couch. As he began to walk out of the livingroom his wife asked, "Was it something I said, where are you going?"

The old man looked at her and replied, "I'm going to the bathroom to get my teeth!"