Thursday, October 24, 2013

Good morning crew,

We're finally getting some real fall weather around here. At night it is even getting down into the low 30s. This means the temperature in my apartment has been around 69 in the afternoons and around 59 when I get up in the morning.

Up until last night I had doggedly refused to turn the furnace on, but when the wife got home and found me on the sofa, fully clothed and still wrapped up in two blankets, she asked me, 'Is it really worth it to save the ten or twenty bucks on the gas bill?'

I argued that it was the principle of the matter, but eventually seeing with wisdom of her point of view I turned on the heat.

Sure it's comfortable in the apartment now, but I think there is a certain romanticism in suffering a severe fit of near debilitating shivering when you get out of bed in the morning.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"The president said yesterday that if it's taking too long you can bypass the Obamacare website and enroll by mail. Only the federal government could come up with a website that's slower than sending something by mail." -Jay Leno

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"Due to system failure today, many people were unable to update their Facebook status. Incidentally, for the several hours Facebook was down we were actually competitive with China." -Conan O'Brien

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"Facebook had a major outage this morning. Users around the world experienced a variety of problems. Some couldn't log in, some couldn't upload photos. I was trying to find actually babies and sunsets to look at." -Jimmy Kimmel

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You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, told him Vegas was that-a-way and sent him on his way.

The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply...

"Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."