Friday, August 29, 2014

Good morning crew,

The last time you kissed someone...which way did you tilt your head? Chances are it was to the right. That is according to Onur Gunturkun, from the Ruhr University in Germany.

Gunturkun happened to be stuck for five hours in Chicago's O'Hare Airport and noticed that when a couple kissed, they each tilted their head to the righte. He collected data on 124 scientifically valid "kissing pairs" at airports, parks, beaches and railway stations.

The results were clear-cut -- two-thirds of people tilt their heads to the right. Of course, about 90 percent of humans are right-handed, so...left-handed people don't know how to kiss?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Chinese authorities have seized 30,000 tons of what? Chicken feet. Because they're tainted. Well, there goes my cookout." -Dave Letterman

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"According to an anthropologist from the University of Hawaii, who spent years studying this, Hello Kitty is not actually a cat. I hope the anthropologist was studying other stuff, too." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"A new study found that having a big wedding boosts your chance of having a good marriage. While having a destination wedding boosts your chance of having friends who hate you." -Jimmy Fallon

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** What The New Job-Lingo Really Means **
** JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY - We have no time to train you.

** CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE - We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

** MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED - You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

** SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED - Some time each night and some time each weekend.

** DUTIES WILL VARY - Anyone in the office can boss you around.

** MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL - We have no quality control.

** CAREER-MINDED - Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

** NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE - We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

** SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE - You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

** PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST - You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

** REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS - You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

** GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS - Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"

The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way.

So he says, "Geez, all I can smell is....MOLASSES!"