Thursday, January 27, 2011
Good morning crew,
The Strictly Sail Boat Show on Navy Pier is this weekend.
Despite the fact that I have put my sailing days behind me
(unless somebody drops a sack of hundred dollars bills in
my lap and I can afford a boat again) I'm still enough of
a sucker to pay $25 to look at the six hundred-thousand
dollar, ocean-going yachts and fantasize.
Plus, where else do I have the opportunity to pay nine
dollars for ten ounces of domestic draft beer and six
dollars for a stale, salty pretzel?
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
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"Tonight is Burns Night in Scotland. They drink whiskey and
celebrate the poet Robert Burns. I know what you're
thinking: Scottish people drink whiskey? They do. Tonight's
the night they drink whiskey and recite poetry...which makes
it classy." -Craig Ferguson
***
"President Obama wants to freeze government spending for the
next five years and then in year six have a huge party and
blow all of it." -Jimmy Kimmel
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"Three Supreme Court justices ? Samuel Alito, Antonin Scalia,
and Clarence Thomas ? did not attend the State of the Union
address. Taking their place was Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez,
and Randy Jackson." -Conan O'Brien
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I returned home from my ninth business trip of the year with
a severe bout of jet lag?induced foot-in-mouth disease. As
we prepared to go to sleep that night, I wrapped my arms
around my better half, gave her a kiss, and announced, "It's
good to be in my own bed, with my own wife!"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
A lawyer phoned the governor's mansion shortly after mid-
night. "I need to talk to the governor, it's an emergency!"
exclaimed the lawyer.
After some cajoling, the governor's assistant agreed to wake
him up. "So, what is it that's so important that it can't
wait until morning?" grumbled the governor.
"Judge Pierson just died, and I want to take his place,"
begged the attorney.
"Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the funeral home,"
replied the governor.
____________________________________________________________
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