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Clean Laffs - When everybody starts to lose their minds.
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Monday, September 3, 2012
Good morning crew,
I hope everyone is enjoying their long weekend...and you're nice relaxing summer, because it's over now. The holidays are coming up and that's when everybody starts to lose their minds. So get in whatever relaxing you can now.
I'll fill you in on the weekend later.
Laugh it up,
P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button...
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"Google Plus has introduced a new policy that allows nick-names. Unfortunately, it's a nickname they give you based on your search history." -Conan O'Brien
"A new study found that vegetarian cavemen died earlier than cavemen who ate meat. Not from starvation ï¿½ they were just murdered after they kept talking about why they became vegetarians." -Jimmy Fallon
"A recent article says yoga-related injuries are on the rise. It's not surprising that yoga fans are upset with this article. After all, it's easy for them to get bent out of shape." -Craig Ferguson
Manning the computer help desk for the local school district was my first job. And though I was just an intern, I took the job very seriously. But not every caller took me seriously.
"Can I talk to a real person?" a caller asked.
"I am real," I said.
"Oh, I'm sorry," the caller said. "That was rude of me. What I meant to say was, could I talk to someone who actually knows something?"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The "friends and survivors" of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed metaphors and posted them on their web site:
"He swept the rug under the carpet."
"She's burning the midnight oil at both ends."
"It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire."
"It's time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard."
"She's robbing Peter to pay the piper."
"He's up a tree without a paddle."
"Beware my friend...you are skating on hot water."
"Keep your ear to the grindstone."
"Sometimes you've gotta stick your neck out on a limb."
"Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter."
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