Thursday, August 14, 2014

Good morning crew,

Tomorrow is payday, which is good timing since the wife wants to go back to the Ren Faire this weekend. I have been trying to convince her that once a year is more than enough for that kind of entertainment, but when we went last weekend it was with her nephews and she felt like she couldn't relax and imbibe and enjoy herself. Plus, a small group is going this weekend, so she wants to go and act like some medieval wrench with her girlfriends.

So I put my foot down and said we can't afford it.

She responded to that with, "Fine. I'll go by myself."

Now I am on the horns of a dilemma; do I stay home and minimize our expenses (as a couple), or do I go with her and try to limit her spending as much money as possible.

Or maybe I'll just kidnap her for the weekend.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Today is Jamaican Independence Day. Today in Jamaica, everyone spent the day smoking, drinking, and having a great time. Then they remembered it was Independence Day." -Craig Ferguson

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"LinkedIn has agreed to pay a $6 million settlement to employees. Unfortunately, the employees haven't heard about it because like everyone else they automatically delete all emails from LinkedIn." -Conan O'Brien

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"Today is National Middle Child Day. And appropriately, it won't get any attention." -Seth Meyers

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A minister in a little church had been having trouble with the collections.

One Sunday he announced, "Now, before we pass the collection plate, I would like to request that the person who stole the chickens from Farmer Condill's hen house please refrain from giving any money to the Lord. The Lord doesn't want money from a thief!"

The collection plate was passed around, and for the first time in months everybody gave.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."