Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS
 
Subscribe to DEAL OF THE DAY
 



Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Good morning crew,

After spending Saturday afternoon watching old Mason's spirit being crushed by the inescapable weight of parental responsibility, the girlfriend and I abandoned him to hit a birthday party at a Mexican restaurant downtown.

That was a lot of fun, but the danger of a Mexican restaurant is that the margaritas are usually pretty good. And when a margarita tastes good you don't notice the three or four ounces of tequila in each one.

After two of those I found myself on the dance floor doing the lambada. I don't even know how to do the lambada, and the restaurant didn't have a dance floor. Of course, that's nothing that nudging a few inconveniently placed tables out of the way won't fix.

Fortunately that didn't last very long. We both had a long day planned for the next morning, so after mangling the feet of a few partners the girlfriend managed to convince me to leave.

The next day we had plans to meet a few people at something called Caribbean Fest out here in the burbs. I'm not sure what was so Caribbean about it, other than all of the bartenders and servers wearing bikinis and flip flops and the ninety-six degree weather.

I did sample some of the Caribbean-style food they had to offer, like the Italian sausages with green peppers and the Buffalo chicken wings, and all of the Caribbean beer like Miller Lite. But still, it was fun to listen to the free bands performing while we walked up and down the street from shade spot to shade spot.

If you can't stand around, sweating in the street while eating Italian sausages and drinking watery, room temperature beer, what's the point of summer?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!


***

"A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself." -Lisa Kirk

***

"Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own short-comings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's characters." --Margaret Halsey

***

"Since childhood is a time when kids prepare to be grown ups, I think it makes a lot of sense to completely traumatize your children. Gets 'em ready for the real world" --George Carlin

***

While in the checkout line at my local hardware store I overheard one man say to another, "My wife has been after me to paint our shed. But I let it go for so long she got mad and did it herself."

His friend nodded. "I like women who get mad like that."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

After years of using the same perfumes, I decided to try something different and settled on a light, citrusy fragrance. The next day I was surprised when it was my little boy, not my husband, who first noticed the change.

As he put his arms around me, he declared, "Wow, Mom, you smell just like Froot Loops!"