Thursday, October 10, 2013

Good morning crew,

The wife is going out of town this weekend. What to do? What to do?

I could order pizza, drink beer and watch cable TV. Or, I could drink beer, order pizza and then watch cable TV. If I am feeling particularly adventurous I could order Italian beef and chicken wings, watch pay-per-view and drink beer, but whatever I decide I'll be doing it without any pants on.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Starbucks is offering something called the duffin. It's a combination of a donut and a muffin. Who says America has lost its exceptionalism?" -Dave Letterman

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"It is, of course, Nobel Prize week. Today's Nobel Prize was in physics. Here's a physics joke. Why can you never trust an atom? Because they make up everything." -Craig Ferguson

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"A new study found that American workers lack the problem-solving skills that workers in other countries have. When American workers heard about the study they said, 'What should we do?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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We were eating at one of the trendier restaurants in town when my friend pointed to the menu and told the waitress, "I'll have the 24."

"Uh, Jim," I whispered, "that's the price, not the meal number."

"Oh," he said. "In that case give me the 12."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A man goes into a restaurant, sits down at a table and an attractive young waitress comes for his order. He gives her a smile and says, "I want a quickie."

She turns red in the face and a'hems, "Sir, I don't know what kind of restaurant you're used to eating in, but I can assure you you're not going to get a quickie here!"

"How disappointing," the man replied. "Could you ask the chef to make an exception?"

"He doesn't have anything to do with it!" says the waitress indignantly.

"Hmmm," do you know anywhere around here where I could get a quickie?"

"I'm SURE I don't know," answers the waitress loudly.

A patron from the next table leans over and taps the man on the shoulder, "I think it's pronounced QUICHE."