Monday, January 16, 2012Good morning crew,
Boy, everybody is feeling the crunch of this never-ending global recession. And I mean everybody. I just read a story that the parliament of the United Kingdom will NOT be spending 60 million British pounds (about $100 million) on a new Royal yacht for 'er nibs, the Queen.
The old scow was decommissioned in 1997 (that's the yacht, not the Queen) after 44 years as a floating royal residence. There was some small debate about the government springing for a new boat for the Queen's seventy-fifth anniversary, but after a hard look at the books that idea died fast.
What's the poor old lady going to do? She's only got, what, five castles to live in? She's 86-years-old. What does parliament expect her to do, walk from castle to castle? Here I thought the United Kingdom had great social benefits for retirees.
The good news is that the government is planning to help secure private funding for a new boat. That shouldn't be too difficult. Recruit a few dukes, a couple of barons and maybe an earl or two and you've got your 100 million.
But they're going to have to build it fast. Not a lot of monarchs make it to 90. But it won't go to waste even if they do build it, because Prince Charles would get it next. All he would have to do is get that old lady smell out of the carpets.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button...
'Like' Deal of the Day Here***"Listen to this. The New York Times is now reporting it's possible to catch the flu from money. They say the virus can live on a $20 bill for more than 10 days. So, not only is the virus contagious, it's also very frugal." --Jay Leno
***"A new study says that women who drink moderate amounts of alcohol every day lose more weight than women that don't drink at all. At least, that's what your wife will slur to you after she forgets to pick up the kids from soccer practice." -Jimmy Kimmel
***"A seventh grade teacher in California was arrested for teaching while drunk. Which is why an entire Earth Science class now thinks hurricanes are formed when rum collides with lime juice, passion fruit, and crushed ice in a hot pink souvenir cup from Senor Frog's." -Jimmy Fallon
***My 10-year-old daughter has decided she is an environmentalist. So she talked me into participating in an aggressive recycling effort with her.
Last week she and I took what proved to be 134 pounds of cardboard boxes to the recycling center and earned $1.34. Counting gas and ice cream, we turned a profit of -$7.85.
We're going to use generally accepted accounting principles and see if we can apply this amount to our taxable income.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*At the beginning of my junior year of high school in Arkansas, our homeroom teacher had us fill out a form stating our future goals. Out of curiosity, I leaned over to see what my friend put down for her aspirations. Where it read "Vocational Plans" she had written, "Florida."