Monday, February 16, 2015

Good morning crew,

Just when I get into the rhythm of the weekend I have to shift gears and start a whole new week. Weren't the experts predicting a 20 hour work week with the advent of computers? Whatever happened to that?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"After the Northeast was hit with a second major snowstorm yesterday, meteorologists are predicting even more snow will come on Thursday. So I think we all know what we have to do. We have to kill that groundhog." -Seth Meyers

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"Researchers at the University of Vermont determined that the world's happiest language is Spanish. German finished fourth, which I find hard to believe. In German, even 'I love you' sounds like a threat." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"A woman in Manhattan went into a seafood restaurant, bit into a hunk of fish and got a fish hook in her mouth. I hate when you go into a restaurant and you're the catch of the day." -Dave Letterman

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Why the Military can't communicate with each other...

If you tell the Navy to secure a building, they will turn out the lights and lock the door.

If you tell the Army to secure a building, they will occupy it and forbid entry to those without a pass.

If you tell the Marines to secure a building, they assault with heavy fire, capture the building, fortify it and call for an air strike.

If you tell the Air Force to secure a building, they will negotiate a three year lease with an option to buy.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
While I was dining in the restaurant of a large hotel, I heard a loud crash. A waitress had dropped a whole tray of coffee cups, plates, and dishes. Being only a couple tables away from her, I felt a stinging pain in my hand where I was cut from the shattered debris. I was immediately escorted to the hotel doctor.

"What happened?" he asked.

I said, "Attacked by a flying saucer."