Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Good morning crew,

You may or may not remember me describing the decrepit condition of the sump pit and sump pump in my basement. Well, I know when a job is over my head, so despite pretty much everybody telling me to man-up and do the job myself I called a professional to come out and give me an estimate.

Even the person on the phone seemed to think replacing a sump pump was something a homeowner should do himself, but I told him...the house is old, the plumbing is old, the pump is ancient (for a sump pump), the basin is filled with muddy water and it is all piped in with metal pipes.

He said it wouldn't be a problem and gave me what I thought was a high, but manageable ballpark figure.

"But you understand our guy has to come out and take a look at the job in order to give you a hard quote," he told me.

"Oh, I understand," I said. "If I'm good with the quote, can he do the job then and there?"

"Sure!" was the response.

The guy came out today and I just finished talking to him. The quote he gave me was 3 times higher than the ballpark figure I got on the phone and he told me he would have to reschedule the work because he didn't have the right tools or even the right pump.

I asked him why the job was so difficult and suddenly so expensive.

He said, "Well, the house is old, the plumbing is old, the pump is old, you're pumping greywater so I need a different pump, and all your plumbing is metal, not PVC, so I don't have the right tools."

So much for communication. But for the ridiculous price he quoted me I think this guy has finally convinced me to teach myself plumbing.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A company is trying to fund a new endeavor known as Uber for Kids. So parents will soon be teaching their kids that they shouldn't talk to strangers but they should get into a car with them." -Conan O'Brien

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"President Obama became the first sitting president to visit a federal prison yesterday. Obama said it was a good chance to talk about prison reform, and to catch up with so many former congressmen." -Jimmy Fallon

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"The U.S. won the International Math Olympiad. If you don't think Americans can compete with Asia in math, maybe you should talk to some of the members of the American team, like Shyam Narayanan, Yang Liu, and Allen Liu. And their coach, Po-Shen Loh." -Seth Meyers

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During the banquet celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" an anonymous voice yelled from the back of the room.

Tom responded, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self-restraint, meekness, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't need if you had stayed single."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My boss is without peer when it comes to the rules and regulations that customs officials must follow. But when it comes to the law, well, that's a different story.

We were attending a court case in which we were prosecuting a smuggler. The judge asked the court, "Who is making these allegations?"

My boss stood up and proclaimed, "I am the alligator, your honor."