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Friday, May 1, 2015Good morning crew,
What was I going to do with money anyway? Save it? Spend it on having a fulfilling life? Plan for the future? It's better I spend it on the money pit, I mean house.
We spent the week having contractors come out and look at the roof and every single one of them came down shaking their heads and clicking their pens avariciously. We got three quotes and each one is more expensive than the last.
The cheapest guy just wants to throw a new layer of shingles over the old one, while the most expensive guy says we need to tear the old roof off right down to the rafters and rebuild everything new.
So now we have to decide if we want to go cheap or expensive. It's a gamble. We don't know if there is anything wrong with the decking under the shingles until it's torn up. If we do have it torn up and it is fine we just wasted a couple thousand dollars. But if it is rotted we will have saved ourselves having to do the whole thing over again in another couple years.
Either way, spending the time collecting quotes has put us in a predicament. While this entire week has been sunny, we are now in the path of eight solid days of thunderstorms starting this weekend. That means I have to get up on the roof and see if I can perform some sort of ad hoc repair myself.
So last night I went and bought an extension ladder and some glue. I figure I can't possible make it any worse.
Of course, I've been wrong before.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives***"There is a new reality show on CBS where a family must decide whether to keep $100,000 in a briefcase or give it away to another family. The show's called, 'We'll Keep the Briefcase.' It's the first 10-second-long show in history." -Jimmy Fallon
***"A company is working on a new selfie stick shaped like a human arm so users won't look like they're alone in pictures. Instead you'll just look like a completely normal person who's carrying around a severed human arm." -Seth Meyers
***"Ford has recalled almost 600,000 vehicles for steering problems. Owners are being told to bring their cars in as close to the dealership as they can get it. " -Conan O'Brien
***One night at about 3am my wife was getting up from the toilet to return to bed when she heard a little noise. It was a suspiciously rodent like sound that seemed to be right in the bathroom with her.
She, of course, froze and listened attentively for any further sign of invaders. After a moment, satisfied that she was alone, she took a step for the door. Rodent scratchy sounds again! She froze, not breathing. Silence. Her heart beat fast as she once again tried to retreat from the bathroom.
This time the noise was accompanied by something touching the back of her leg! That was too much to bear. She literally flew the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the foot board by a couple feet, to land screaming by my side.
The culprit was right there in plain sight, a trail of toilet paper neatly marked the path from bed to the bathroom.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*I was complaining the other day to a friend about the knot in my tie. "These four-in-hands with their tiny knots are so un-stylish," I complained. He asked, "Do you know how to do a Windsor knot?"
I replied, "It doesn't matter if you Windsor knot, it's how you play the game!