Monday, October 14, 2013

Good morning crew,

What is it with you women and packing? This Sunday the wife got up really early in the morning to pack for her trip. She spent a good half hour packing and rearranging all of her clothes, shoes and paraphernalia (which she spent an hour the day before meticulously picking out) and all of this for a three-day weekender in Las Vegas.

Now Friday, at the office, I had prepared a little note telling my sweetie that I would miss her and wishing her good luck, and I put it in an envelope with a little extra cash for her to blow.

Wanting it to be a surprise I waited until the wife was completely packed, finished dressing and we were just waiting for her ride to show up. When she stepped into the bathroom for a moment I quickly unzipped her bag and stuffed the envelope way deep, under all her clothes at the bottom of the bag.

When she walked back out of the bathroom I was right back on the sofa like nothing ever happened.

"Well, your ride should be here any minute," I said.

"Yeah," she answered, tapping her chin, "but I feel like I am forgetting something... Oh! That's right!"

Skipping back into the bedroom she emerged again with a little jewelry box. "I have the perfect outfit to wear these earrings with," she explained, kneeling down and unzipping her bag.

Now, any normal, reasonable, logical, rational, sane person would stuff a small item like that into a corner of the bag, or at most pull out a toiletry bag or something to put it in. Not my wife.

Unzipping her bag was all the excuse she needed, despite the fact that she had to walk out of the door literally any minute, to completely unpack all of her clothes and rearrange them, yet again.

Of course, she found the envelope.

She said 'thank you' and promised not to open it until she got to Vegas, but she ruined the surprise all the same. So much for all my planning.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Today was day 10 of the government shutdown. A lot of things are shut down. The CDC, the Centers for Disease Control, is shut down. That means they might have to cancel flu season this year." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"A new study found that dogs can actually feel genuine love for their owners. While cats just keep a journal of all the things they hate about you." Jimmy Fallon

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"Ernest Hemingway once won the Nobel Prize for literature. Hemingway told an interviewer that the Nobel Prize was his second greatest achievement. I don't know what the first one was, probably catching a big fish while drunk." -Craig Ferguson

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"This hotel stinks!" a guest complained when he showed up at the front desk to check out.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I got no sleep. Every 15 minutes this loud banging sound woke me up!"

I apologized for the noise and checked him out. A few minutes later, a couple showed up. Again, I made the mistake of asking how their stay was.

"Terrible!" they said. "The guy in the next room was snoring so loudly that we had to bang on the wall every 15 minutes to wake him up!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
I was on my way out of the house to meet with a cantankerous client, and I was dreading it. The look on my face must have given me away because my five-year-old daughter asked what was wrong.

"I'm going to meet a mean woman who always yells at Daddy," I told her.

"Oh," she said. "Say hi to Mom."