Thursday, July 31, 2014

Good morning crew,

We are finally at that important hurdle in the condo-selling process; the appraisal. The property has to be valued for at least what the buyer has agreed to pay for it in order for the bank to give him a loan. So it is an important day for us.

In fact, the appraiser is there right now with the wife.

I'm a bit nervous about it since condo prices, particularly in my neighborhood, are still pretty depressed, so I suggested a little fail-safe strategy to the wife.

I told her that when the appointment was almost done, she should wait until the appraiser has his or her back turned and then slip a 20 on the bar and act innocent, maybe excuse herself to go to the bathroom or something and leave the appraiser alone for a couple minutes.

It never hurts to grease the wheels a little bit, right? What could possibly go wrong?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Today is the 30th anniversary of the National Minimum Drinking Age Act, which raised the drinking age to 21. Also turning 30 today: a 16-year-old boy, according to his fake ID." -Seth Meyers

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"The TSA is offering a $5,000 reward for the best idea on how to speed up airport security lines. So far the best idea is making a line for people who know what they're doing and another line for people who have never been to an airport before." Jimmy Fallom

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"There's a dating site called OK Cupid. It's for folks who are looking for someone who is just OK." -Dave Letterman

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There was a university in New England where the students operated a "bank" of term papers and other assignments.

There were papers to suit all needs and as it would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade, B grade and C grade.

A student who had spent the weekend on pursuits other than his assignment, went to the "bank" and as his course was a standard one he took out a paper for an inconspicuous C, retyped it and handed the work in.

In due course he received it back with the professor's comments "I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it should have had an A, and now I am glad to give it one!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like. The minister asked my Mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband." And she said, "I do."

Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife," and my Mom said, "He does."