Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Good morning crew,

I just got news that one of my nephew got married. Not engaged, married. They did it in a small, private ceremony of about five people.

No engagement parties, no showers, no $2,000 dresses, no guest lists, no stacks of invitations, no fittings, no interviews, no hunting for reception halls, no endless writing of checks. One week they got engaged and the next week...bang! Married.

Where does he get off skipping all the other stuff? There should be a rule; no wedding without the pain, sacrifice and suffering that's supposed to go with it.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A lot of people make money off of weddings, such as caterers, photographers, and divorce lawyers." -Craig Ferguson

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"Hard to believe it's February. The Super Bowl is over. The football season is over. You know what that means guys... It's time to take down those Christmas lights." --Jay Leno

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"A new study found that running for two minutes is just as good for you as working out for 90 minutes. That doesn't sound like a study it sounds like something a chubby guy says after being on the treadmill for two minutes." -Jimmy Fallon

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One cold night my furnace died, so I went to my parents' house. In the morning, a neighbor called to tell me that my water pipes had burst and flooded my town house and hers. I raced home?and on the way got a speeding ticket.

Then the furnace repairman arrived and told me he didn't think he had the proper fuse but would check in his truck. Meanwhile, the plumber cut holes in my bathroom wall to locate the leak.

When the furnace repairman returned, he held aloft a fuse. "I had the right one after all," he said triumphantly. "This must be your lucky day."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Hygiene is in the eye of the beholder, I have decided. One lunchtime I watched the woman in the sandwich shop spreading mayonnaise on my bread, and noticed part of her grubby work shirt was dragging across it. "Excuse me," I ventured, "your sleeve is in the mayo."

"No problem," she reassured me. "I need to wash it anyway."