Thursday, June 13, 2013

Good morning crew,

Hey! Guess who's back. What a trip. We drove over 900 miles from the suburbs of Chicago, all the way up to Mackinac Island, Michigan (actually Mackinaw City, you can't drive to the island) and back, visiting five wineries, two breweries, two casinos and one haunted house.

As a wine tour it was a success. By the end we had bought 24 bottles of wine and samples dozens of others. I won't have to buy another bottle of wine for a year. As a vacation I guess it was a success, too. But we were so busy, and had so much driving to do we really didn't have much opportunity to relax. The next time I have five days I may try something a little less ambitious than a wine tour of Michigan, like maybe a beer tour of LaGrange Avenue.

I'll fill you in on some fun details next week. Until then, enjoy your weekend and happy Father's Day!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"More problems for the IRS. Isn't that the feel-good story of the year? They wasted $50 million over a two-year period on conferences and retreats for employees. They even spent $11,000 on a happiness expert. I have an idea how to make them happier. How about stopping making everybody else's life miserable? Start with that!" -Jay Leno

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"This week, Apple introduced a new laptop that supposedly has an all-day battery. Here's how it works ? don't turn on your laptop all day." -Jimmy Fallon

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"It has come out that the summer interns at Google make about $6,000 per month. The news was reported to me by the interns at this show." -Conan O'Brien

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My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.

Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Before I took the old family car to college, my father loaded the trunk with soft-drink bottles filled with oil, coolant and transmission fluid. Sure enough, the car overheated.

Scolding myself for not listening to my father's instructions, I looked at the engine and saw how well he knew me. The oil cap was labeled Dr Pepper, the transmission stick, Coke, and the empty coolant container, Diet Pepsi.