Thursday, September 30, 2010
Good morning crew,
I just read a story about a 57-year-old guy in Missouri who
won a million dollar lottery prize four months ago, and then
won a two million dollar prize this month! Two huge jackpots
within months of each other. What are the odds?
According to the Missouri Lottery they're about 1 in 2.28
million...each.
This is my luck. Last week (when I still had some money left)
I spent 20 bucks on four $5 instant tickets. The odds of
winning anything, including the break-even prizes (this is
you get your five bucks back) is 1 in 4.
I didn't win on a single ticket.
So with guys like this Missouri winner sucking up all the
luck I don't think I'm going to make my fortune with instant
lottery tickets. I guess I'm going to have to rely on being
a wildly successful Internet writer. I have only been doing
this for ten years and already I'm up to hundreds of loyal
readers. So it can't be long now.
My only consolation is that this Missouri guy took the cash
payments instead of the annuity and ended up paying about 60
percent of his winnings in fees, penalties and taxes. What
a loser.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
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A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the
difference between right and wrong. "All right children,
let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get
into a man's pocket and take his billfold with all his
money, what would I be?"
Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile
he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
Noah was told that of all the animals on the ark, only the
adders refused to obey God's command and go forth and
multiply.
"Well," said Noah. "I'll have to ask the Lord what to do
about that." And so he prayed to God and said, "These
snakes won't go forth and multiply"
And God said, "Don't worry. Find some the trees and saw
them into logs and create a platform sitting upon four
legs. Then put the snakes on the platform."
"But how will that help the snakes?" asked Noah.
"Easy," replied God, "Everyone knows even adders can
multiply using a log table!"
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