Monday, June 22, 2015

Good morning crew,

Welcome to the first full day of summer. Here in the Chicagoland area we are kicking the new season off with yet another thunderstorm.

Because apparently God has decided Iowa, northern Illinois and Indiana aren't worth saving.

But while it has rained pretty much every single day, at least is hasn't been raining ALL day, every day. In fact, this weekend was pretty nice.

The wife got lucky with a beautiful afternoon for her promotion test, and the nice weather brought out quite a crowd to watch her and the other candidates perform.

She put on a show, too. Especially when she lost control of her nunchucks during her weapons form. One moment her hands were a whirling blur, then suddenly the nunchucks flew out of her hands and almost pegged an elderly woman right in the face.

But, the testing masters let her try again and she was able to finish without causing any grievous harm to anyone. So with this promotion she now officially outranks me.

I'm sure that will make our home life much more harmonious.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"According to a new study, the recommendation that people need eight glasses of water per day is a myth. I think we figured that out when we never once drank eight glasses of water and still survived." -Seth Meyers

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"In England, the world's oldest bride and groom tied the knot. She's 91, he's 103. Men are unbelievable. He couldn't find someone his own age? They're the world's oldest newlyweds, but I like to think of them as the world's newest oldlyweds." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"According to The New York Times, one of the biggest doping scandals in the history of track and field is coming to light. It involves Russian athletes in the sport of racewalking - or as it's known to the billions of people who do it every day, 'hurrying up.'" -James Corden

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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.

She smiled and told me not to worry as they were trained professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A few years ago a refugee from Laos came to the US in one of the resettlement influxes. He had been an announcer in radio back in Laos, and he wanted to get into the same line of work here. The first thing he did was join AFTRA (American Federation of Television and Radio Announcers). He tried to pursue a job, but of course, he had problems with the English language, being a new resident. In order to keep body and soul together while going to English classes, he took up barbering. Soon, he became a very good barber, giving haircuts, stylings, and shaves. He seemed to be an artist with the straight razor. In fact, the shop where he worked made him specialize in giving shaves.

Thus, he became known as an AFTRA shave Laotian.