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Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Good morning crew,

Welcome to spring, folks. It's been a long time coming. Actually, no. Spring butted in early about two weeks ago. Since then, we have broken several heat records, at least here in the midwest, and if the local paper is to be believed we will break a couple more before this week is over.

But at least now that it is officially spring I won't feel guilty about turning the air conditioning on. The poor girl friend actually abandoned me last weekend because I refused to turn on the AC and it wouldn't go below 82 in the apartment.

The joke's on her, though, because she is missing out on all of the health benefits created by the natural sauna-like atmosphere.

By the way, if anyone is a history or war buff I can recomment the War In The Pacific DVD collection offered at the bottom of the page. I watched it an I was pretty impressed.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Spring break is the week where college students get a much-needed break from binge drinking in Nebraska and go to binge drink in Florida." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"Police across the country say there's been a spike in criminals stealing Tide laundry detergent. So I guess all those commercials that say it cleans blood stains are really paying off." -Jay Leno

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"A new report found that 20 percent of people over 45 had to dip into their retirement savings last year. And the other 80 percent said, 'retirement savings?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: "There is no easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent death this year."

Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know.

She met the Tarot reader's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I get away with it?"

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

In the office where I work, there is a constant battle between our technical-support director and customer-service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too low.

The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon, "We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat."

Thinking that this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, "Yeah right. So how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning?"

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