Thursday, November 29, 2012

Good morning crew,

Hot diggity, our office pool won the lottery! And I'm not even screwing around with you. We totally won. After everything is squared away and divided up my cut of the winnings will come to about 81 cents.

To celebrate I'm thinking about taking the wife out to dinner this weekend. The poor girl; she has been sick all week with some nasty upper respiratory bug and I have spent the week sleeping on the sofa. She is finally starting to feel better and I'm thinking it will be nice for us to get reacquainted with each other over a nice dinner.

Although with a budget of 81 cents I might have to ask her to kick in a little something toward the bill. Come to think of it; the change jar I keep on my kitchen counter-top is just about full. Maybe I'll cash that in and use it to fund the weekend. Last time I cashed in all that change I got 270 bucks out of it.

That will buy a much nicer dinner than 81 cents and I won't look like a deadbeat husband!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Chicago has changed a lot since the last time we were here. I'm having a hard time calling the Sears Tower the Willis Tower. It just feels wrong. It's like calling the Olive Garden an Italian restaurant." -Conan O'Brien

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"Denmark is charging a fat food tax on cheese, meat, and oil. Here, we call that the Denny's Grand Slam breakfast." -Jay Leno

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"A TSA screener in Kansas City is facing criticism for giving a pat-down to an 8-month-old baby. You don't pat down a baby! You stick him in a tray and run him through the X-ray machine." -Jimmy Fallon

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Our six-year-old daughter, Terra, has a need to ask questions...lots of questions. Finally, one day, my wife had it.

"Have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?" my wife asked.

"No," replied Terra.

"Well, there was a cat, and he was very inquisitive. And one day, he looked into a big hole, fell in, and died!"

Wide-eyed, Terra whispered: "What was in the hole?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A job applicant was asked, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?"

"Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality--sometimes I have a little trouble telling what's real from what's not."

"Okay," said the interviewer. "And what are your strengths?"

"I'm Batman."