Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Good morning crew,
We are on the razor's edge of a snowstorm here in my area.
It has been raining all morning and the temperature is in
the upper 30s. If it drops just a few more degrees we are
going to be shoveling instead of swimming.
Fortunately I just spent about a million dollars on two new
tires for the truck, so if I do have to plow through five
or six inches of snow this afternoon at least I'll have good
traction since my truck won't be weighed down with all of
that extra cash.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters
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***
What does The Lucy Show, Dragnet, and the Three Stooges
all have in common?
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***
"Congress is considering a bill that would force advertisers
to lower the volume of their TV commercials. OK, how did my
mother get in Congress?" -Jimmy Fallon
***
"Food addicts are the people I feel sorriest for because
that's really hard. You need to eat. You don't need to do
drugs. Very hard for these people to quit. "I'm going cold
turkey... mmmmm turkey. Do not think about food... do not
think about food... do not... nuts..." -Craig Ferguson
***
"According to a survey by nationwide mutual insurance, 2
percent of people actually shave while they're driving. They
shave! How many guys would like to be in the car with those
women?" --Jay Leno
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We visited our newly married daughter, who was preparing her
first Thanksgiving dinner. I noticed the turkey thawing in
the kitchen sink with a dish drainer inverted over the bird.
I asked why a drainer covered the turkey.
Our daughter turned to my wife and said, "Mom, you always
did it that way."
"Yes," my wife replied, "but you don't have a cat!"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
A jeweler standing behind the counter of his shop after hours
was astounded to see a suspicious looking man in a black ski
mask come hurling headfirst through the window.
"What on earth are you up to? What happened?!" he demanded.
"I'm terribly sorry," said the man, "I forgot to let go of
the brick."
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WHAT DID THE BUDDHIST SAY TO THE HOTDOG VENDOR?
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