Monday, December 24, 2012

Good morning crew,

We are on the very edge of the big holidays, folks. Christmas and then New Year. Can you feel the excitement in the air? I can...mostly because I'me taking the week off!

But as a little holiday present from me to you I dug up an interesting excerpt from Bill Bryson's book "I'm a Stranger Here Myself," dealing with an old, old Christmas tradition that I could really get behind. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be in practice any more.


One of the many small mysteries I hoped to resolve when I first moved to England was this: when British people sang 'A-wassailing We'll Go,' where was it they went and what exactly did they do when they got there?

Throughout an American upbringing I heard this song every Christmas without ever finding anyone who had the faintest idea of how to go about the obscure and enigmatic business of wassailing.

It wasn't until I happened upon a copy of T.G. Crippen's scholarly and ageless 'Christmas and Christmas Lore,' published in London in 1923, that I finally found that wassail was originally a salutation.

From the Old Norse ves heil, it means 'in good health.' In Anglo-Saxon times it was customary for someone offering a drink to say, "Wassail!" and for the recipient to respond, "Drinkhail!" and the for participants to repeat the exercise until comfortably horizontal.


So if anybody sees me out and about please don't hesitate to buy me a drink and wish me 'Wassail!' I'll return the favor.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'" --Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"

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"I'm going to tell you some jokes now, and I'll be honest with you, a lot of these jokes have been re-gifted." -David Letterman

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"Last week a group of chefs baked the world's largest pizza, which is gluten-free and contains 9,000 pounds of cheese. Or as Americans put it, 'You had me at 'world's largest pizza' � you LOST me at 'gluten-free' � then you won me back with '9,000 pounds of cheese.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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Last year I entered the New York City Marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing.

The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, "Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?"

I replied: "You really want to know?"

Then I dropped out of the race.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Every December it was the same excruciating tradition. Our family would get up at the crack of dawn, go to a Christmas tree farm and tromp across acres of snow in search of the perfect tree. Hours later our feet would be freezing, but Mom would press on, convinced the tree of her dreams was "just up ahead."

One year I snapped. "Mom, face it. The perfect tree doesn't exist. It's like looking for a man. Just be satisfied if you can find one that isn't dead, doesn't have too many bald spots and is straight."