Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Good morning crew,

I can tell summer is starting to wane. Normally, when I drive to work in the morning the sun is at just the right angle to catch me in the corner of my eye, causing me to lean far to my right with my right elbow on the center console and my left wrist on the steering wheel in a sort of "gangster" pose.

While making me look cool and "swag" this position is decidedly uncomfortable. So I noticed this morning, when I wasn't contorted in my seat, that the sun had not yet made it over the tree line. The days are getting shorter. Pretty soon I will driving to work before the sun is up.

And that is when the severe depression sets in.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Scientists have found a new link between high blood sugar and dementia. Which explains Cinnabon's new slogan, 'The last bite you'll remember.'" -Conan O'Brien

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"According to a Cosmo poll, 13 percent of all men admit they have tried on a bra. The sad part, 43 percent of American men actually need one." --Jay Leno

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"A new study says that women who drink moderate amounts of alcohol every day lose more weight than women that don't drink at all. At least, that's what your wife will slur to you after she forgets to pick up the kids from soccer practice." -Jimmy Kimmel

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Dewey was having a lot of difficulty in French class. To encourage him, his teacher said, "You'll know you're really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in French."

Dewey ran into class all excited one day, saying, "Teacher, teacher! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking in French!"

"Great!" said the teacher; "what were they saying?"

"I don't know," Dewey replied; "I couldn't understand a word they were saying."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Last June, my friend told me about her plans for our upcoming prom. "I'm renting a stretch limo and spending $1,000 on a new dress, and I've reserved a table at the most expensive restaurant in town," she said.

Our teacher overheard her and shook her head. "I didn't spend that much on my wedding."

My friend answered, "I can have three or four weddings. But a prom you do only once."