Monday, February 20, 2012

Good morning crew,

I was a little confused to see the parking lot half empty when I pulled into work this morning, but when I got into the office somebody told me it was some sort of holiday.

So in order to honor this long and distinguished tradition I have determined to do something today that will set a standard or be regarded as an example for future consideration.

That is the best way I can think of to celebrate Precedents Day.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button... 'Like' Deal of the Day Here

***
"A man in Ireland was arrested with more than 500 pounds of marijuana. So I guess there is a little pot at the end of the rainbow." -Jimmy Fallon

***
"Here's a great story: A guy in Alaska goes fishing and he catches a 90-year-old fish, a 90-year-old fish. You know, I look at it this way ? if I want a 90-year-old fish, I'll just order the seafood platter at Red Lobster." -Dave Letterman

***
"The Navy tested a high power laser beam to help fight pirates. There's nothing the pirates can do to defend themselves against this laser-?unless they buy a mirror." -Jimmy Kimmel

***
As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury selection process. First a computer randomly selects a few hundred citizens from the entire county to report for jury duty on a particular day. Then another computer assigns 40 of those present to a courtroom. Then the 40 names are placed into a drum, and a dozen names are pulled.

During jury selection for one trial, the judge asked potential Juror No. 1 if there was any reason he could not be a fair and impartial juror.

"There may be," he replied. "Juror No. 12 is my ex-wife, and if we were on the same jury, I guarantee we would not be able to agree on anything."

Both were excused.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Woman: "No, I'm telling you, I'm right! He couldn't eat the Trix because he was an adult rabbit, and Trix were only supposed to be for kids."

Man: "Well, I always thought it was just because he was a rabbit and not a person."

[A period of silence -- the woman looks down at her food.]

Man: "What's wrong?"

Woman: "I'm just really getting tired of you always being wrong."