Thursday, July 14, 2011

Good morning crew,

Tomorrow is a dangerous combination of events. It is both Friday and a payday. Do you know how much trouble a person can get in with two days of leisure and a pocket full of money? Especially since I am desperately trying to save money for a down payment on a house.

Well, I guess it will be a good test of my self control. And just to make sure I don't make things easy on myself I have penciled in a date Friday night, Saturday night I'm heading downtown to hang out with old Mason and Sunday I am going to Caribbean Fest out here in the burbs.

If I'm careful I think I can get away with spending no more than twenty-five bucks.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!


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"The U.S. is now in serious danger of defaulting on our foreign loans. Which explains why today, China showed up and broke the Statue of Liberty's kneecaps." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A right-wing religious group in Iowa is now asking all the Republican presidential candidates to sign a pledge to remain faithful to their spouse. Isn't that the marriage pledge?" -Jay Leno

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"The dancers of the Joffrey Ballet are being locked out in Chicago. This could lead to a strike ? and the most graceful picket line ever." -Craig Ferguson

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Light bulb jokes are an innocent way to poke fun -- or so I thought. Working as a sound technician, I asked an electrician, who was also the local union steward: "Hey, Mike. How many Teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?"

I expected the classic answer: "Twelve. You got a problem with that?" But Mike replied in all seriousness, "None. Teamsters shouldn't be touching light bulbs."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
In the small, family-owned store in Spokane, Washington where I work, we often get folks from out of town whose idioms are a little different from our own. One day, after parking her car across the street in an attended lot, a young woman came in. She made her purchase and then asked, "Do you give validation?"

Without batting an eye, my manager replied, "You are an excellent, successful person, and I love your hair."