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Monday, March 31, 2014Good morning crew,
Today is a very important day. And that is, namely, payday. Unfortunately, my paycheck is already spent.
About 60 percent of my check will go to the mortgage. About 15 percent will go to phone, utilities and cable. Another 20 percent will go to insurance. 5 percent to fuel, 10 to food and supplies and another 15 to entertainment...
Hang on a minute...
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives***"They're considering a new 10-cent fee on grocery bags here in New York. My mom said, 'Who's laughing at the eight-thousand bags under the sink NOW?'" -Jimmy Fallon
***"Lululemon is the company that makes yoga pants that are so tight they cut off circulation to the part of your brain that decides how much money is OK to spend on yoga pants." -Jimmy Kimmel
***"There are some accusations that Silicon Valley discriminates against people because of their age. Elderly groups are so furious about this that they plan to send Silicon Valley an angry fax." -Conan O'Brien
***One Sunday morning, while stationed at Osan Air Base in South Korea, I was in line for breakfast and noticed that the cook behind the counter looked kind of harassed.
After I gave him my order, he asked me how I wanted my eggs. Not wanting to burden him further, I said cheerfully, "Oh, whatever is easiest for you." With that, he took two eggs, cracked them open onto my plate and handed it back to me.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*"What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late?" complained an irate passenger to the railroad engineer.
"How would we know the trains were late, if we didn't have a schedule?" replied the engineer.