Monday, January 7, 2013

Good morning crew,

Now that the holidays are officially over and the new year is well underway I need to seriously start thinking about adopting a somewhat more healthy lifestyle.

Toward this end I have resolved to cut back dramatically on both sugar and beer.

Now sugar is easy (or at least easier) because I have never had much of a sweet tooth. All I need to do is be a little more discriminate in my food and beverage choices.

Beer, on the other hand, is a more difficult chestnut to crack, specifically because of some of the peculiar qualities unique to beer.

For example; it is common knowledge that if you split a beer with someone it does not count toward your consumption. In that fashion my wife and I did not drink 8 beers last Thursday because we split all of them.

Plus, if someone buys you a beer, that doesn't count either.

With these factors working against me cutting down on beer will be a real challenge.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button... 'Like' Deal of the Day Here

***
"A new study shows that monkeys can look at photos and recognize other monkeys they know. However, the study also shows that monkeys are terrible with names." -Conan O'Brien

***
"A new study found that bacon and freshly baked bread are Americans' favorite smells. Yeah, this morning instead of putting on cologne, I just rubbed my neck with a B.L.T." -Jimmy Fallon

***
"A woman in California is being studied because she says she remembers everything from the last 12 years. And I'm thinking, 'Wait a minute isn't that every woman?'" -Dave Letterman

***
I returned home from my ninth business trip of the year with a severe bout of jet laginduced foot-in-mouth disease. As we prepared to go to sleep that night, I wrapped my arms around my better half, gave her a kiss, and announced, "It's good to be in my own bed, with my own wife!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A stock analyst and a Wall Street broker went to the racetrack. The broker suggested betting $12,000 on a certain horse. The analyst was skeptical; he had never been to the races before and wanted to understand the rules and look over all the horses before placing a wager.

"You're too cautious and detail-oriented," the broker criticized as he placed his large bet. His horse won and he raked in a bundle of money.

"What's your secret?" the analyst asked.

"It's simple," the broker explained. "I have two kids... ages two and six...so I add their ages together and bet on number nine."

"But two and six is eight, not nine!" protested the analyst.

"See!" the broker replied, "I told you you're too cautious and detail-oriented."