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Friday, May 8, 2015Good morning crew,
Today is office clean up day. Management likes to torture us every year by making everybody wash windows, clean blinds, dust desks and polish furniture.
This year I am paired with Steve (who writes The Groaner) and we are on window duty. I don't even clean my own windows at home!
But, they are providing lunch. So after I battle streaks and smudges at least I get a free meal.
Who knows, I may discover I have a talent for this kind of thing. This might be a new career for me.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives***"A Florida man is suing a hospital for throwing his right leg away after it was amputated. The hospital says they're not worried about the lawsuit because the man does not have a leg to stand on." -Conan O'Brien
***"In an episode of 'The Price is Right' this week, a contestant in a wheelchair was awarded a treadmill. Well, to be fair, the show isn't called 'The PRIZE is Right.'" -Seth Meyers
***"The Internet has spoken and it said that girls love 'dad bods.' But the examples they used for dad bods were Jon Hamm and Leonardo DiCaprio. OK, one, they don't have kids so they aren't dads. Two, they are among the most handsome men the world has to offer. That article shouldn't read 'Girls love dad bods.' It should read, 'Girls love millionaire movie stars.'" -James Corden
***A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it.
"Not Gutenberg?" gasped the collector.
"Yes, that was it!"
"You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!"
"Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some clown named Martin Luther."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*The Bureau of prisons just announced the release of a serial bank robber who had looted over 30 banks before his capture. The parole board says he is completely rehabilitated and has found employment at his home in Prague. Yes, that is correct. They were able to right a bad czech.