Monday, March 28, 2016

Good morning crew,

It happened again. Somehow, what was supposed to be a nice, boring and cheap weekend ended up being busy and expensive. But I guess it was my fault this time.

Saturday, instead of restricting myself to the house like I should have, I talked the wife into going to see the new Batman vs Superman movie with me. And then, of course, there was the inevitable stop at the bar afterward where we attempted to figure out what that movie was supposed to be about over 2 or 3 beers.

Sunday I was really expecting to spend the entire day in my bathrobe, but the wife announced that her parents were coming over for Easter lunch.

"Why didn't you tell me you invited your parents over?" I asked her.

"What do you mean, tell you? You're the one who told me to invite them over."

"I did? When?"

"Last week."

"Oh. So, what are you going to feed them?"

"Why are you asking me," she said. "You invited them. It's your party."

So 9:00 Sunday morning, instead lounging around the house enjoying my first cup of coffee of the day, we were at the grocery store filling up a cart with hams, eggs, hash browns, vegetables, pineapples, and all of the other needful paraphernalia for a successful Easter meal.

The wife really pulled through on that one, taking over a lot of the preparations, and by the time one o'clock rolled around we had quite a little feast prepared.

And that turned into a long day.

By the time we cleaned up from that party another weekend was gone. They disappear pretty fast when you're not looking!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A researcher found that blonde women are slightly smarter than brunettes. The researcher said it's not true, but that line tends to work on blonde women at a bar." -Conan O'Brien

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"There's a new study that says giving your child too much praise can harm them later. If you're too hard on your kids, they grow up with no self-confidence, but if you praise them too much, they grow up to be narcissists. What do these little monsters want from us?" -Jimmy Kimmel

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"A woman held hostage by her boyfriend in Florida managed to escape this week after she convinced him to let her order a pizza using Pizza Hut's app and wrote '911 hostage help' in the comment section. But really aren't all Pizza Hut orders a cry for help? " -Seth Meyers

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My wife and I were going through a rough patch financially, but we kept ourselves sane by repeating, "As long as we have each other, we don't need anything else."

But when the television in our bedroom broke and we couldn't afford to repair or replace it, my wife lost it.

"That's just great!" she shouted. "Now there's no entertainment in our bedroom at all!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Teeing off on the 12th hole at a golf resort, we stopped to buy cold drinks from the young woman driving the beverage cart. As my buddy reached for his wallet, he said to her, "You're in great shape. You must work out a lot."

Flattered, she gave him a big smile and gushed, "Oh, thank you so much! You're so sweet."

The next day a different young woman was driving the cart. "Watch this," I whispered. I walked up to her and said, "Wow, you must work out a lot."

"Yeah," she replied flatly. "You should try it."