Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Good morning crew,

All of that global warming is starting to kick in. It's going to be in the 40s outside today but for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday they are predicting temperatures close to 60 and sunny.

And you know what that means. Motorcycling weather. Unfortunately I don't have a motorcycle anymore.

But with weather like that I suppose I could sit in my backyard and barbecue every day. Unfortunately I don't have a house either.

I guess it's just as well. One person can only contribute to global warming so much.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button... 'Like' Deal of the Day Here

***
"A new study found that humans started wearing clothes about 170,000 years ago. In fact, the first sentence ever spoken was, 'Me look fat in this?'" -Jimmy Fallon

***
"A professor at Utah State University is now studying people who suffer from what he calls a compulsive obsession with morality and religion. They had these people when I was a kid. They were called parents." -Jay Leno

***
"A company created a bathroom scale that allows you to tweet your weight to your friends. The company immediately went out of business." -Conan O'Brien

***
Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John, "How come you aren't married?"

John: "I haven't found the right woman yet."

George: "So what are you looking for?"

John: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, - a good cook and house keeper, she's got to know how to handle money, have a nice and pleasant personality -- and money, she's got to have money, and a nice big house wouldn't hurt either."

George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!"

John: "Oh, it's okay, if she is crazy."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 20mph for it to start.

She said fine, hopped into her car and drove off.

I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing.

A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror coming at me at about 30 mph, I realized that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions...