Friday, May 20, 2016

Good morning crew,

Promotion testing at the taekwondo school this Saturday. But this one is both a low belt testing and a black belt testing, which means it will be a good six or seven hour day.

I promised the wife we would go out this weekend, but after a seven hour day of herding a few dozen rambunctious little kids I might try to convince her to let me lock us in the house with a case beer and order a pizza.

It may not work, but I can try.

There is only so much excitement I can take.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Over 400 passengers missed their flights at Chicago O'Hare on Sunday because of the TSA security lines which were up to three hours long. It's bad news for travelers, but good news for dads who insisted on getting to the airport five hours early." -Jimmy Fallon

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"The Mexican restaurant Chipotle, which has seen decreasing sales since its recent norovirus outbreak, is trying to win customers back with a contest where one lucky winner will receive free burritos for a year. To me, this seems like one of those contests where the winner is also the loser." -James Corden

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"According to a new study, there have been more deaths this year from selfie-related incidents than there have been from shark attacks. Good." -Seth Meyers

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Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John, "How come you aren't married?"

John: "I haven't found the right woman yet."

George: "So what are you looking for?"

John: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, a good cook and house keeper, she's got to know how to handle finances, have a nice and pleasant personality -- and money, she's got to have money, and if she has her own house it wouldn't hurt either."

George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!"

John: "Oh, it's okay if she is crazy."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.

Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. The people who produce the bottles. The truck drivers who deliver the beer and the retailers who sell it.

If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.

Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."