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Monday, July 20, 2015Good morning crew,
There is only so much a man can take. After the weekend I had I felt I owed myself a day off. But I didn't want to burn a vacation day, so I called my boss this morning and told her I had a bad case of dysphoria.
I'll fill you in on all the adventures later in the week.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives***"If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty." --Chris Rock
***"My mother wanted me to go to church to meet women. That's wrong, ain't it? 'Praise the Lord! Hey, how ya doing? Nice dress. Look, I'm going to go over there and get some of this wine and crackers, want some?'" --Warren Hutcherson
***"We used to play spin the bottle a lot when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a dime. By the time I was 14, I owned my own home." --Gene Perret
***On my four-year-old daughter's first trip to Disneyland, she couldn't wait to get on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. As the car zoomed through the crazy rooms, into the path of a speeding train, and through walls that fell away at the last second, she clutched the little steering wheel in front of her.
When the ride was over, she said to me a little shakily, "Next time, you drive. I didn't know where I was going."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*In an upscale pet-supply store, a customer wanted to buy a red sweater for her dog. The clerk suggested that she bring her dog in for a proper fit.
"Oh, no, I can't do that!" the lady said. "See, the sweater is going to be a surprise!"