Friday, April 8, 2016
Good morning crew,
This weekend the wife has made plans for us to go to a Brew and Vine event they have here in our little community every year.
While I am not about to turn my nose up at an afternoon of sampling craft beers and local wines, I am a little surprised at the wife's enthusiasm for attending. We went last year and she didn't seem all that impressed with it.
While it is relatively cheap to attend and sample the beer and wine, the real danger comes from the temptation to spend a fortune buying what you're sampling.
I think she is getting tired of the wine in a bag I have been buying lately. I guess there is just no accounting for taste.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.com
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"Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy wants to reduce Spain's three-hour siesta to one hour. They're just going to have a lunch break like everybody else. Instead of going home for their nap, they'd sleep at their desk like the rest of us." -Stephen Colbert
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"A California woman has turned her home into a sanctuary for 1,000 cats. She's applied for both tax and man exempt status." -Conan O'Brien
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"Disneyland Paris is temporarily shutting down its haunted house after an employee was found dead inside the attraction. But those last few customers really got their money's worth." -Seth Meyers
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Differences between men and women
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
6.CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
8. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
9. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
10. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Mothers come in all shapes and sizes. For example, an Italian Mother might chastise her offspring for not eating by saying, "Eat your dinner, or I'll kill you."
A Jewish Mother on the other hand would say, "Eat your dinner, or I'll kill myself."