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Monday, January 11, 2016

Good morning crew,

Now that the holidays are officially over and the new year is well underway I need to seriously start thinking about adopting a somewhat more healthy lifestyle.

Toward this end I have resolved to cut back dramatically on both sugar and beer.

Now sugar is easy (or at least easier) because I have never had much of a sweet tooth. All I need to do is be a little more discriminate in my food and beverage choices.

Beer, on the other hand, is a more difficult chestnut to crack, specifically because of some of the peculiar qualities unique to beer.

For example; it is common knowledge that if you split a beer with someone it does not count toward your consumption. In that fashion my wife and I did not drink 8 beers on Sunday because we split all of them.

Plus, if someone buys you a beer, that doesn't count either.

With these factors working against me cutting down on beer just might be an impossible task. Well, can't say I didn't try.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Thanks to Congress, meat producers no longer have to tell consumers where their meat comes from. Upon hearing this, Arby's said, 'Waaay ahead of you, man.'" -Conan O'Brien

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"China just installed new public bathrooms in Beijing that actually offer Wi-Fi. Yeah, a Wi-Fi-enabled bathroom. Or as we call that here in America, Starbucks.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"There's a new study that says giving your child too much praise can harm them later. If you're too hard on your kids, they grow up with no self-confidence, but if you praise them too much, they grow up to be narcissists. What do these little monsters want from us?" -Jimmy Kimmel

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Last week I purchased a burger for $1.58. I handed the cashier $2.00 and started digging for some change. I pulled out 8 cents and gave it to her. She stood there with $2 and 8 cents. She looked bewildered, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register.

I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she burst into tears.

The incident got me thinking about how our kids were learning math in school.... (or not).

Teaching Math In 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5ths of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5ths of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set of "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C," the cost of production, contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M." Answer this question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?

Teaching Math In 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math In 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees. (There are no wrong answers)

Teaching Math In The 2000s: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. How does Goldman Sachs determine that his profit margin is $60?


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

My mother and I were walking through the mall when a man stopped us to ask if we would take part in a survey. One of the questions was; "Do you think there is too much sex in movies?"

"I don't know," replied my mother. "I'm usually too wrapped up in the film to notice what the rest of the audience is doing."