fiogf49gjkf0d
Monday, May 25, 2015Good morning crew,
Memorial Day! A time to remember. A time to be grateful to those who gave their lives to the service. Also a time for a three-day-weekend and a barbecue!
Even though the Solstice is next month everybody pretty much considers this the unofficial beginning of summer. That means all of the barbecuing, all of the swimming, all of the volleyball, the street fests, the concerts under the stars, the road trips, it's all coming up fast.
That is a lot of fun to pack into the next 105 days! I'm under so much pressure!
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives***"Researchers have found that children in preschool are exercising only 12 percent of the day. I have an easy way to fix this. If you want kids to exercise, get an ice cream truck and just drive it slowly around the block. They will give chase. I've seen it happen." -Jimmy Kimmel
***"This week presidential candidate Bernie Sanders introduced a new bill that would make four-year college tuition free. Which was great news, unless you were the student who was just walking out of your graduation." -Jimmy Fallon
***"Chelsea Clinton has written a children's book titled 'It's Your World: Get Informed, Get Inspired & Get Going.' It's a great book to read to your workaholic toddler." -Seth Meyers
***There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.
Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a baseball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole. "How do you suppose this ball got in here?" I asked the boy.
Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, "Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole!"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*After learning the Lamaze method of natural childbirth, I was admitted to the delivery room with my wife.
It seemed like an eternity before the doctor finally announced, "I've got the head now; just a few more minutes."
"Is it a girl or boy?" I asked excitedly.
The doctor replied, "I don't know. It's hard to tell by the ears."