Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Good morning crew,

What is the luck? I was eating pizza the other day, pizza of all things, and I bit down on something that broke one of my back teeth. I went to the dentist yesterday and he ended up drilling the tooth out in preparation for a crown.

You know what a crown is? 500 bucks.

There goes the one year anniversary fund I was saving to blow on something special for the wife.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. EVTV1 is back and better than ever! This video portal was created to weed through the online clutter to bring you the best animal video clips...funniest videos...most popular...PLUS the most unusual. New videos are added daily!

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"A new study found that the way someone sneezes can say a lot about a person. For example, if they hold their sneeze in, they're humble. If they cover it, they're respectful. And if they just sneeze into the air, they're standing next to you on the subway." -Jimmy Fallon

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"There is a big movie out today: 'The Great Gatsby.' They should have jazzed up the movie's title. They should have called it something like '2 Fast 2 Gatsby.'" -Craig Ferguson

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"The Statue of Liberty is reopening on July 4. It has been closed since last year. What happened was she went in for lap band surgery." -David Letterman

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[Following are some very funny spelling bloopers caught in local newspapers, publications and various emails. See if you can catch the goofs.]

1. "...an autopsy to determine if the elderly man lost courteousness for medical reasons." (Trenton, N.J.)

2. "[An NBA coach] will take charge of a young team still in the throws of a roster overhaul." (Vernon, Conn.)

3. "'It's pretty exciting,' according to his material grandmother." (Potsdam, N.Y.)

4. "The MCCC fight team won 21 out of 32 awards and brought home nine metals." Including the gold? (Trenton, N.J.)

5. "McNabb...exasperated the injury attempting to chase down Dallas Cowboys safety Roy Williams." (Trenton, N.J.)

6. "Boxer Pups AKC, 1M, 1F, Bread for Health and Temperament." (e-mail)

7. "[Paris Hilton] was probably going through cocaine withdrawls." Is she from the South? (Sunnyvale, Calif.)

8. "Our lunch menu [includes] a variety of hot entrees and tempting deserts." Presumably also hot. (Upper Saint Clair, Pa.)

9. "Vincent was a brawny Swiss ex-patriot." (San Jose, CA)

10. "...those who acquaint shopping with charity." (Simsbury, Conn.)

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Corrections: 1. consciousness 2. throes 3. maternal 4. medals 5. exacerbated 6. bred 7. withdrawals 8. desserts 9. expatriate 10. equate


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday.

The following week she asked each child in turn what they had learned.

Susie said, "He was born in a manger."

Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple."

Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it."

Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?"

"From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"