Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Good morning crew,

The great, 2014 house-buying nightmare is getting down to the wire. We actually have a close date and everything. There are only two small, little problems. 1) We are closing on a Friday which means that we are going to have to empty the condo on Thursday when every single able-bodied person who might be able to help us will be working, and 2) we are also closing on the house on the same day we are closing on the condo, which means we are going to have to drive a truck full of furniture and knick knack boxes from one closing to the next, and then at the end of the day figure out how to unload the truck by ourselves.

Eh, should only be 2, back-to-back 16 hour days. No problem.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be." -Paul Valery

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"A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed." -Lou Costello

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"'I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit.' There. I've never been relaxed enough around anyone to say that." --Steve Martin as Navin R. Johnson in "The Jerk".

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James addressed the ball and took a magnificent swing but somehow, something went wrong and a horrible slice resulted. The ball went onto the adjoining fairway and hit a man full force. He dropped! James and his partner ran up to the stricken victim who lay, quite unconscious, with the ball between his feet.

"Good heavens" exclaimed James, "what shall I do?"

"Don't move him!" cautioned his partner. "If we leave him here he becomes an immovable obstruction and you can either play the ball as it lies or drop it two club lengths away."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.

But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.

"It's a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."