Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Good morning crew,

Some of the folks in the office were having a discussion about the worst jobs we've ever had. I told about how in high school I worked for a landscaper digging ditches and in college I worked in the cafeteria kitchen scrubbing pots and pans.

Then Rachel, one of our customer service girls, spoke up to describe her worst job.

She assumed a far-off expression as if recalling some distant but poignant pain and told us about her harrowing experiences working in a bagel shop.

"One year I had to help bake the bagels," she confessed. "I had to be IN the store by 5:30 every morning..." She rubbed her temples as the memories flooded back. "It was hell."

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new survey found that 70 percent of Americans admit to 'going through the motions' at their jobs. And the other 30 percent blah, blah, blah, punch line." -Jimmy Fallon

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"On TV last night we named a new Miss America. Miss Georgia is the new Miss America at the 95th annual Miss America Pageant. Miss America is the highest honor a woman can achieve for getting a spray tan." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"Mark Cuban, star of 'Shark Tank,' is now thinking about running for president. Still no word from the Cake Boss." -Conan O'Brien

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A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: "There is no easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent death this year."

Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know.

She met the Tarot reader's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I get away with it?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A small boy stunned his parents after church one Sunday when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes, and quarters.

Finally his mother asked the obvious question: "Where did you get all that money?"

"At Sunday school," the boy replied enthusiastically. "They got bowls of it!"